244me

So with the first of the year and all I guess I got a little over zealous and thought to myself ,” I think I should run this morning.”  I do not run, I only tried it once.  Oh was that a memory!  I went out and bought all new running clothes, so I could look the part ya know, and boy did I look great!  Pro, running attire I was looking  fabulous.  I started off feeling like a million bucks, I leaped off my front porch like a gazelle, wind in my hair , oxygen filling my lungs I was a thing of beauty.  Then it happened, I started to realize that I was getting tierd really fast, and having a hard  time breathing too and I kinda hurt all over as well, and I was only several houses away from my starting point.  It was at this exact moment I saw them, a couple of guys hanging out, working on a car down the road.  Well, something about pride or stupidity, the two often dance around each other, I refused to stop.  I couldn’t stop and let them see me give up.  Did they see me start?  Are they watching me, I am looking good.  I look like a professional runner, maybe if I turn the corner on this block I could run around to the other side of the block and they will never know.  So that is what I did.  I grit my teeth and put on a smile and even though every muscle in my body was screaming for me to quit my pride battled my pain as I rounded the corner towards freedom!  I ran just out of their sight and collapsed on the grass, my inibition was too tired to rear it’s head, so I lain in the stillness under the sky watching the laughing clouds , as the beating of my heart raced on as if we never stopped.  And that was the only time I ever willingly ran until Saturday the  third of January.  I don’t know what possesed me to run, it was a gorgeous morning for January, actually a bit humid.  I didn’t want to over do it, so I ran a little and then walked a little, so technically I went for a wun or ralk if you prefer.  Once I figured out how to breathe without choking or making extremley rude noises, it was not bad.  I did tire out quickly, so the walking  helped.  I did not over do it, I was careful of that, or did I? The next day my shins felt like a ninga came in the middle of the night and whaled on them with a two by four!  Ouch!  Thank God for the next two days of rain so I could recover.  I have heard of people running a lot and getting shin splints, I couldn’t possibly have them after ralking for one day!  Wow am I a mess!  maybe I should try skipping or galloping next time.

I had an ah ha moment, our daily eating is like our life long walk here on earth.  Every thing we do is either righteous or sinful there is no inbetween.  Everything we eat is either good for us or bad for us. One leads to death and the other to life.  We have a choice for every moment of our lives.  And once that choice is decided and carried out, there is no going back!  It is done.  We must stop and think and choose wisely.  I always felt that life just happens and I am out there, a slave to whatever comes my way.  When I stop and think about how much power God gives me by giving me free will; it blows my mind.  I have the power to eat and use the food for health and healing or I can choose to use the food for my ultimate physical and emotional destruction.

Man that’s all I had to read to get out under that big , shinny,silver disco ball and glide to the music!  I had a blast tonight.  I wasn’t sure if my 38 year old body would respond to roller skates, but I guess it’s like riding a bike, I didn’t lose it.  They did not do the YMCA however, and no Hokey Pokey either.  Just skating around the floor brought back so many memories, wow! Like when Disco Duck would come out on floor and skate around in his big ol furry duck suit, and hating couple skates becuase I didn’t have anyone to skate with.  And there is always that super fast, great skater that you just envy.  Well now days it is bazzare, I saw a really great skater gliding along like she was made for skates, text messaging on her phone while she was skating, wow.  Yeah, I feel old now, but I think I found my choice excercise.  I can’t stand to excercise, all that sweat grosses me out .  I used to go to this health club and I was on a step machine and this guy was on the one next to me, he was sweating so profusly, that sweat was spurting off of him and on to me eewwww.  I think it seriously effected me.  And of course the whole Gym class saga.  I had the typical, hard, mean gym teacher that belittled me and embarrased me in class, scarred for life I am!  but tonight was just me , the disco ball and -498 calories baby!  Whoo

I  am realizing that I am not an average eater, I have been looking for things that I consume on a daily basis and I can’t find them on the calorie counter.  Like who doesn’t eat Old Fashioned oats?  I saw instant, instant with cinnamon, oatmeal cookies etc…  but no just plain, normal cook on the stove for five minutes, oatmeal.  So I added it. Your welcome oatmeal fans around the world. Ha ha  It’s not just on the site either.  I went to walmart the other day and bought a rutabega.  You would of thought I had an ancient artifact the way the cashier looked at it.  She didn’t even know what it was.  Now, granted I am in Arkansas.  Then I was at my Drama class rehersal and we all had to bring lunch.  I brought my kids and myself a few apples, a few clementines and a bag of carrots.  The kids were looking at my stangely, and inquired of me,” aren’t you suppose to take off the otter layer of the carrot?”  Well I always thought that that was where all the fiber is, am I wrong?  We always eat carrots with the skin on, heck I ‘ll even eat the end of the carrot if there is no trash can around, I figure it is full of vitamins and extra fiber.  It really bothers me that I try really hard to eat healthy, my family to eat healthy and I still struggle with the extra weight.  No ding dongs or doritos in my cart, no ramen noodles, sugary sweets or sodas, so what in the world!  Sometimes I’ll look at what other people are buying in the grocery store as it is coming down the conveyer belt and sort of give them the up and down, skinny as a rail.  Their kids are skinny as a rail too.  I just don’t get it.  Sometimes I tell myself that they must be on meth or bulimic or something, because it just dosen’t make sense to me. 

I have a Cookie exchange coming up next week.  We are all bringing something to snack on during the exchange.  I think I’ll make a fruit platter so I don’t go crazy for cookies.  This is always a really hard time for me.  I rationalize all the sweets with,”well I only get to have this once a year.”  It is true, I only do eat fairy food and carmel corn etc… once a year, but I don’t want it to be on my body for another year either!  When I was a kid I never had to worry about what I was eating at Christmas, this blows.

Now to settle down with my planned out snack of 5 caramels melted over apple slices and some popcorn.  I can’t believe the day is almost over.  I ate around 1,400 calories, but I feel great!  I am bummed that I didn’t excercise at all though.  I wanted to go for a walk, but I have kids, and sometimes it is hard to get motivated dragging them along, I just want to be able to be alone and in the zone.  I guess I should take them too, that is what a good mom would do.  I have to keep fighting that selfishness that creeps in.  I am so pumped that I stayed on track today, and even though I did not excercise I did not take a nap either, so that has to account for something?

I’m not sure what to expect today.  I had a good breakfast, eggs and toast and green tea.  It seems like everytime I step on the scale, I am a different weight.  I am thinking about getting a new scale, I’ve had this one for many years and it is weird.  My husband can step on it and if I step on it after him I am a LOT lighter, but he has been in Ohio for a week now and the scale magic is gone.  I guess I have to face facts that I am just getting heavier. Ugggh!  Any good recommendations for a good scale?  Not too pricey, I am a stay at home, homeschool mom.